I am now at tatna.tumblr.com

I Quit

I have given this city (Albuquerque) as much time as I can. I cannot get a job. I am nearly broke and have decided to cut my losses and move back to the east coast. I will be in Easton PA for a while working on racecars, and I don't know who I made so angry as to have my life transformed into this.

The thing about living in the southwest is that even though I keep my apartment OCD-level clean (vacuumed daily, surfaces disinfected twice daily, dishes washed immediately, produce in the disposal rather than the bin, garbage taken out daily anyway), and even though I live in a nice, clean complex that is well maintained, and even though the exterminator comes at least monthly, I have roaches. Not big roaches, but roaches nonetheless. I try to make myself feel better by telling myself "You know, you only found and killed one today, and it was really small," but roaches are kind of a binary state of existance. Like gun shot wounds.

I've been enjoying Netfilx Watch At Home, particularly the documentaries. I've not got the time for proper reviews, but documentarys I've enjoyed lately include the following:


loudQUIETloud: A Film about the Pixies
The Comedians of Comedy
The Celluloid Closet
The Pixar Story
Hubert Selby Jr: It/ll Be Better Tomorrow
The Outsider (About James Toback)
Crumb
Little Dieter Needs to Fly
Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride
Absolute Wilson (About Robert Wilson)
Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control
Ken Burns' Frank Lloyd Wright
Neil Gaiman's A Short Film About John Bolton

Basically, these films being listed here is just a stamp of approval. You'd not want to read documentary reviews anyway. You already know the story a little, you don't need any more spelled out. Special marks go to Absolute Wilson, Crumb, The Comedians of Comedy, and Hubert Selby Jr.: It/ll be Better Tomorrow.

I've been watching a lot of fiction films lately as well. More on that later.

I don't adore musicals. I don't like musicals. I do love The HMS Pinafore and La Cage aux Folles. And that is all. OK West Side Story kind of.

So I'm packing up to go back back back to Albuquerque. Not much to pack really. Had a normal night, played I Love Lucy themed Monopoly with my family. It reminded me of what's really heartbreaking about my new place and circle. In Glasgow, I could ring people up and invite them round for board games. Not in a kitschy way, just because everyone knows that they're fun. Here, when you're at people's houses, it's because the bars are about to close and someone has drugs. I kinda like drugs. Not to take but to be around. Maybe it makes me feel Rock and Roll. But here there are no quiet nights of board games and good wine.

Gosh, I've just been sounding so so so naff. It's not so bad. There are things that I love. There are people I love. It's just cold and there's not enough booze.

Cont'd

I guess the thing is that my life has become ordinary. My friends were rock stars. My friends were ministers and professors and dancers and DJs and crazies and freaks of all kinds. I was a stranger in a delightfully strange land. I belonged because NONE of us belonged.

Now my life is ordinary. My friends are hairdressers and bar tenders and waiters and they have no higher aspirations. This doesn't make them bad people, it doesn't make them bad friends. It just means that even though I'm in a new city, every day is not an adventure. I walk around, I hand in job applications, I go to the two restaurants I like, I go to the two bars that I like. I go to the movies alone. OK, I've always done that. I don't hate what things have ended up as, I am just not excited by it.

For Joseph

Everything is changed and nothing can ever be quite the same again. I'm writing in Magdalena, New Mexico, visiting my Mother and Sister, anticipating my return to my new home in Albuquerque. I have friends there, which happened really pleasantly and quickly. I've been mostly behaving myself, save a little drunken fooling around on couches, light merriment, etc. Job searching is heart breaking and being broke, broke, broke is quite worse.

To clear my head, a list of films I've seen recently.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The mixed reviews had made me a bit nervous, but I really loved this film. The best actress nod is a lock, and Pitt was quite good as well. This is the definition of a mature film; Fincher the auteur no longer feels the need to prove himself, and along with Zodiac, Button has firmed up his position as a modern great. Panic Room had me nervous, with its reliance on Fincher's proclivity for ultramodern cinematography over story and character, but those fears have been utterly banished.

Milk

This is not my favorite Gus van Sant film of 2008, but it's pretty fantastic. I had feared that this would operate in the same universe as van Sant's other more overtly commercial work (Good Will Hunting, Finding Forrester), and to a degree it does. What this film has going for it is a clear vision, SPECTACULAR acting (Emile Hersh, James Franco, I'm looking at you), and a good, if not great script. This is obviously a passion project, and it's kind of magical to see that seep into the frame, but it's just very good, it doesn't transcend.

Valkyrie

This is not as poor as it could have been. It's also not very good. I think Cruise is always strong, as he is here, but I yearn for Cruise the character actor (Magnolia, Born on the Fourth, kind of Collateral). Instead we have Cruise the leading man, more in a The Last Samurai way than anything else. Bryan Singer is despeartely overrated, and this film really could have been put together by any competant footage compiler, but the film isn't awful. I think the adjective I'm most inclined to use is slight.

OK Lightning Round

Flashbacks of a Fool

This was pretty wonderful, with the half-hour bookends staring Daniel Craig far outshining the interior love letter to Bryan Ferry and teenaged Britain.

Mongol

I'll follow Tadanobu Asano (Vital, Gohatto, Last Life in the Universe) to the ends of the earth, but this was fairly poor. Please, please please go watch Last Life in the Universe instead.

Sukiyaki Western Django

This was a borderline unwatchable, poorly executed disaster. Still trying to wash this out of my mouth.

Zach and Miri Make a Porno

I kind of love this film.

Twilight

The most idiotic fun I've had laughing at the screen in ages. Vampire baseball. I love it.


Gotta go,
Maybe more later,

Love you all.

abcdefg

My friend Joseph wrote something really sweet about me and Glasgow. It is here.

And Bates has been really, really kind and accommodating. Thank you Bates.

I am in New York and then I will be in Baltimore and then I will be in Easton, and then I will be in New Mexico. My brain box is been melted.

In honor of not wanting to get hassled at the airport.

I'm moving to New York for a little while, see you soon New York.

OK so films seen in the cinema lately.

Step Brothers ***
Somers Town ****
The Wackness ****
The Strangers *****
Babylon AD *
Miss Peddigrew Lives for a Day ***

Gonna see soon

The Duchess
Bankok Dangerous
Rocknrolla

Yeah, not looking forward to any of that.


Loves you internets.

But we should see other people.

Joseph Wrenn wins wins wins wins wins. My brain is soupy and my legs are danced out but I am pleased as punch. Love youse.

Yes, My artist is way way talented. From Jeff Lemire's Tales From the Farm

Silly squiggle monster, I know Six-Star Pirate-Eye Shadow Kung-Fu. Prepare to be straightened out.

With the touchpad today.

Why does it feel so much like I'm so broken that I'll never love again. Sobriety never used to feel quite so bad as the other. Lines are blurring and I think I'm on the verge of something quite awful. Sorry no shite comic today or for many days. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but self-loathing takes precedence.